Euphoria

There is a huge difference between what a person wants and what a person needs to be happy, satisfied, loved, adored and fulfilled.

More often than not, the overpowering of the want somehow pushes and suppresses the silent voice of the need.

As far as I can tell, it happens to most of us. At the very least, it happened to me.

How strange it is that for something that we want so dearly, so desperately that we’re ready to hold on to it so tightly just to let it slip away?

How awfully unfair everything seems when what we want is in the distance, fading away, never to light up again?

How catastrophic our existence becomes when we realize it was all an effort for nothing?

How lost and lonely we feel, like falling into an abyss, with not a ray of hope, a flicker of love, or a soft hand to pull us back up is all but a distant memory?

They dwell inside you. Things denied, things untold, things hidden and disguised.

And sooner or later, the cloak is lifted, the veil moved away, and nothing but a shattered and broken heart remains, remains to be seen, to be mocked at, to be laughed at and to be pitied. Worst of all, pitied.

It has eluded me for long, the difference between want and need. Does it elude me still? I do not know, perhaps I never will.

It never was easy, it never will be.

But sometimes, when all else fails, and when you least expect, He has planned a miracle for you. The very ray of hope, flicker of love and a soft hand pulls you up, ever so unknowingly, ever so mystically and ever so magnanimously that you can hardly fathom the graciousness bestowed upon you.

This messiah expects nothing, and continues to give, while all you can do is watch in awe, wonder in amazement what you did to deserve such unconditional love. All you can do is prove to be worthy of it in every possible way.

And before you even realize it, you’re a better person, a stronger individual who will do all he can to protect and cherish the wonder given so generously. Euphoria.

I don’t know where I was when I found you; I don’t even know how I did. All I know, and something that you don’t, is that I was lost. You found me, you saved me, and for that, I will always love you. Thank you, though it hardly does justice. I am forevermore, in your debt.